Every day I'm getting hit with the same symptoms. Hyperarousal, hyperarousal. Dissociating, adrenalin surges, flashbacks, physical muscle memory of being raped. There's lots of sadness and a horrible feeling of being totally cheated out of a lot of happiness. My therapist says that the big extremes will continue for a while. Is he right or is he guranteeing long-term business?
It seems right now that there's a lot of talk in the news about pedophiles. You would think that in a way it's good to get this out in the open. But from a survivor's point of view, not always. Some people actually think that it's funny in some weird way to talk about this. Unless you've been abused you'll NEVER understand why this is NOT funny.
I'm scared to go to sleep. Will I have more nightmares? Will I jump out of bed screaming in the middle of the night because of hyperarousal? What do I do then?