Monday, June 18, 2007

How Do You Shake This?

It's a real struggle today. Got no sleep at all last night. And today it's like NOBODY has gluten free food. If health food is good for you then why is it twice as expensive? Still haven't figured it out.

Everything really feels raw today. Last night I thought about some old relationships. Many either didn't want to listen or try to understand about PTSD. When I meet sombody new I still have a tendency to have my fears get to me. Will they understand when the time is right to talk about PTSD? Maybe that's jumping the gun. Then again based on past experience that's hard to keep in mind to not worry.

Also had lots of nightmares last night about being raped. You're trapped like a f*****g animal and have nowhere to run to. And then you wonder, if I get killed will anybody care? Hopefully now that will never happen. But when it does happen to you that terror never goes away.

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